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Letter 22.
Dear Future JailMD, Three years ago, the metal sliding doors slammed behind me, and fear settled in, but little did I know that it opened a door into a world that would change me forever. Before embarking on this journey in medicine, I was centered in serving disadvantaged communities that I am a product of…
Letter 21.
Dear Mr. Trapped, Your distance travelled was visible in your weathered skin covered with tattoos of where you’re from and a long white beard that reached your belly. When we got to talking about why you were in the detox unit, I think you were caught off guard when I congratulated you on your 5…
Letter 20.
Dear Mr. MommasBoy, I have written this to others before, but it’s worth sharing with you— each interaction that I have in the jail has hard-wired my brain to make connections that I constantly have to question to avoid making assumptions. You see because of the research I do in the community and you being…
Letter 19.
Dear Mr. Dad, I have felt pain, seen it and even treated it, but getting a glimpse of your pain is an experience that I still reflect on. As you told me about the uncertainty of how long you would be incarcerated, I watched you re-live what happened. It became obvious that being a teen…
Letter 18.
Dear Mr. Masked, In this era of taking care of patients in the setting of the COVID-19 pandemic, I wonder how my care has changed. At baseline the environment in the jail is different, but as restrictions have progressed on the outside the jail has changed too. Fear from providers to patients has spread like…
Letter 17.
Dear Mr. MAT, I am sorry. I should not have snapped at you the way I did. An apology should never come with a qualifying explanation, but I this time it does. As a transfer from the upstate prison for a court date my job for you was to assess your health and essentially continue…
Letter 16.
Dear Mr. Shattered, Talking to you reminded me of that feeling you get the moment after dropping a glass on the floor and looking at the millions of pieces shattered on the ground. It’s usually a moment with several thoughts and emotions— the inevitable “oh shit” coupled with a little disappointment or sadness about the…
Letter 15.
Dear Mr. Miracle, Before you walked into see me, a deputy came in and said, “Hey Doc, we have this guy who was already placed in wheelchair housing a couple of days ago, but can miraculously walk today… can you see him?” With a smirk, I agreed. As he went to get you, I combed…
Letter 14.
Dear Deputy, Over the last two years, I have gotten to know several of your colleagues. Each of them different- some friendly and helpful to inmates and a few who flex their power, but what they share in common is their willingness to protect the staff and inmates from each other and themselves. Over time,…
Letter 13.
Dear Mr. Son of Man, The average age of most patients that I see is about 30, but you took twice as many spins around the sun. You actually looked much younger despite your years of your substance use and living on the street. For most of our conversation, I couldn’t understand why you answered…
Letter 12.
Dear Ms. HERstory, The inmate reception center (IRC) is where men are triaged within the jail so when the nurses handed me your booking number and told me you were “special” that meant a number of different things— you would be kept in isolation and escorted by a deputy for your protection and the protection…
Letter 11.
Dear Mr. Oldtimer, There was something about your presence that was regal despite the traditional jail attire and pains of life— I think it was the experience in your stride, your chiseled face, ebony skin, ivory smile, and the little spark that remained in your eyes. By the looks of your chart, much of your…
Letter 10.
Dear Mr. Relapsed, You plopped into the seat in front of me and told me you were withdrawing from heroin, but differently than most, you weren’t complaining too much about the symptoms. You told me that you started injecting heroin when you were 11 years old, which meant for half of your life you had…
Letter 9.
Dear DV, After almost two years of working in the jail, I can sense this particular demeanor of patients who have not been in the jail before. It’s usually one of two things 1) fear or 2) excessive aggression paired with a level of arrogance—you were the latter. I had already combed through your chart…
Letter 8.
Dear Mr. MOS, I didn’t grow up in a military family, but when I trained at the VA Pittsburgh Health System (VAPHS) I found a new family—one that was different than my own, but had shared some not so obvious commonalities. It was my VAPHS veteran patients and colleagues that instilled in me this sixth…
Letter 7.
Dear Mr. Humano, Patients come into the jail and often I hear horror stories about how their arresting officers treated them. Now I realize there are always two sides to a story but your words spoke to the abuse of power I often hear about. As a 37-year-old Latino immigrant man, I can only assume…
Letter 6.
Dear Mr. Swastika, As an internist, I never know who I will care for or what diseases I will treat but that’s why I chose this specialty. I like the diversity that medicine has to offer. With each patient encounter comes a story that I have to piece together to figure out the diagnosis and…
Letter 5.
Dear Mr. Backagain, It is not often that I see a young white man in the inmate reception center but, I do see patients who frequent the jail and you are one that I can’t seem to forget. As a star high school football player in Louisiana with aspirations to go pro like many of…
Letter 4.
Dear Mr. BreakingPoint, The chaos of the inmate reception center was palpable on the day we met. When you came and sat by my desk, it was visible in your eyes. You were a young man (I mean you really looked 12 years old) with eyes that told a story before you spoke a word. …
Letter 3.
Dear Mr. WholePersonCare, You were the example that I shared with all of my colleagues who were evaluating this Medicaid Waiver in Los Angeles County called Whole Person Care. It is for patients just like you— individuals who are “high-risk” for healthcare and have issues with mental heath, judicial issues involved, substance abuse, complex medical…
Letter 2.
Dear Mr. Beenburned, You walked into the cold stale exam room with your head down wearing the wrinkled blue inmate uniform and the rubber shower shoes that everyone gets at booking. You plopped yourself into the chair in front of my old desk that I wipe down with bleach before I start each shift. Despite…
Letter 1.
Dear Mr. Sofamiliar, Before you walked into my exam room, the medical assistant handed me a piece of paper with a last name and booking number but, this black man, looking at me through the glass window that separates me from the inmates, distracted me. I looked out towards him while trying not to make…
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Letters to my Patients (in Jail) 